Dealing with Resistance

Happy April!

I love this time of the year, here in the Northern Hemisphere. The birds are singing, the buds are coming out as are some of the early flowers. Where I grew up in Saskatchewan, crocuses are purple and very low to the ground. Here in Ontario, they are multi colored. When I originally saw them, I thought they were some kind of a tulip! Nature has many ways to show her beauty, and in the Spring, we see new growth pushing up from the soil and out through the new shoots of growth in the trees – plants are on their green growing edge in the Spring.

Which brings me to the topic this month which is all about resistance and getting out of our own way so that we can have our own FRESH START. Would you love that for your life or some area of it? Well, then, read on. This is all about learning to flow more easily with the new energy that is seeking to move in and through us this Spring – new ideas, new opportunities, new wisdom, new relationships….

I saw this quote by Carl Jung recently: “What you resist persists. What you embrace dissolves.” The commentary on it was “don’t resist anything. Embrace everything and watch miracles happen”. Now, I’m all for positive thinking, however from where I stand, the interpretation is a misunderstanding of resistance and the way we can use it to increase flow and decrease stress in our lives.

Resistance isn’t merely an emotional block, to be judged as bad or wrong. It’s actually a principle of the matrix or physics of this physical universe. If you pick up a weight or even a coffee cup, you will encounter resistance as you lift and move that object to a different location. Click 2 champagne glasses together and they will resist each other. Our very cells are each in resistance to the next one and our skin and bodies are resisting atmospheric pressure at all times. 

The physical body depends on a certain level of resistance to be strong – without weight bearing activities, it becomes weak and dis-functional. So, resistance is in all physical forms. In and of itself it isn’t “bad” or going away any time soon.

Yet, though the physical body is subject to resistance, in truth, we are not these physical bodies. What?! (you might be saying…)

I have a physical body and you have a physical body, and it’s important that we take good care of it. It’s our vehicle for being on this planet and what and who we are identified as and with but it is not who or what we are.

Now that may sound or feel like good news to some and ridiculous to others. Yet stay with me here, and you’ll understand why the shift in your perspective might be important for the way you engage with life.

Now, this is not just some theoretical idea I’ve read about or come up with in a woo-woo way. I’ve known this to be true for many years and if I needed physical confirmation in terms of an experience, I certainly had a powerful one in 2010. 

My uncle, whom I loved, died in 2010. One morning he had a serious stroke, and I was called to the hospital. When I arrived at the ICU he was in a deep coma, on life support. Doctors didn’t believe he would come out of it or if he did, he would have significant brain injury. By late morning his 2 sons had decided to take him off life support. They had heard what the doctors had said and didn’t believe he would want to live with a brain injury. I had my own thoughts about letting him stabilize, however it wasn’t my decision. We each had some time with him, and all 3 of us, along with my fiancé, were with him at the time of his passing. My left hand was resting on his right arm or hand – a final touch for a man I cared deeply. I wasn’t ready for him to go.

At a certain point, I felt a surge of energy coming into me. It tingled at first, and I withdrew my hand and leaned into my fiancé. It got stronger, and a powerful energy moved in and through my body and out my head. It blew out the electrical circuits in my body and completely disabled my nervous system. I could feel myself blanking out and falling to the floor as if I were a wet noodle. My head hit that concrete floor of the ICU like a bowling ball, and I heard a massive crack. My eyes bolted open. I was back. 

And he was gone. 

The odd thing was that there was no bump or bruise on the back of my head – and I didn’t even have a headache!


So, yes, I know we are not these bodies.

I also know that whatever the power was that went through me that day, it wasn’t limited to my uncle. That power is within each and every one of us, breathing life into us and is ready to be channeled.

It’s the power that is what you notice with, the awareness that guides, and what Gandhi called “the voice for truth”.

Now, how does this relate to resistance and how can it help you?

Let me use a metaphor here. Airplanes work with 4 forces in order to fly and move us safely to our destinations. The 4 forces are: lift, thrust, drag and weight. Lift is important for take-off or changing altitudes in the air. Thrust propels the airplane forward. Drag and weight slow and bring the airplane down. Drag and weight can be a form of resistance or grounding. Yet in the physical world, all forces are necessary for that plane to safely take us where we may want to go.

So, let me ask you a few questions:

1.    Where and with whom do you experience lift in your life? In other words, where do you experience support, encouragement and inspiration?

Are these people?

Family members, friends or groups?


Social Media channels?

2.    Where and with whom do you experience thrust to support you in moving you in the direction of what you’d love to create? Do you have someone to help you be accountable for your goals?

A mentor, training buddy or coach?

A group?

Someone who believes in you and knows you are more than what you may be doing or expressing now?

3.    Where and with whom do you experience drag? 

Let me speak a little more about these situations and folks, since no 1 size fits all here.

On the one hand, these can be distractor situations or drama folks. They can be the thoughts, situations and people who take you off your vision and down the rabbit hole to having tea with the Mad Hatter.

It can be a physical place that you go where you just don’t feel yourself or good. It can be types or thought that you continually have or that seem normal to you, such as “this is going to be hard” or “life is hard or challenging”. It can be ways of coping that are unhealthy, such as listening to the news, watching TV or being on social media in ways you know are distractions.

On the support side, this might take the form of someone with wisdom (and not their own need 🙂 counselling you to slow down and tune in. These are “lift” people, yet they may seem like they are “drag” if you have a pattern to jump into things that don’t work out to your benefit. If this comes to mind, consider putting them on the “lift list.

So, where do you experience drag in your life?

Places, things, situations or people who distract you from moving forward, or who enroll you in their dramas or traumas?

4.    Where and with whom do you experience weight? 

This is the baggage you are carrying about with you on a daily basis. 

It may take the form of unforgiving thoughts, judgment of yourself or others etc.

It may be a person or situation who or that really brings you down.

Just a note here: If you have a lot of unforgiving thoughts about yourself or others, you may find this article on Forgiveness of interest.


Are you ready for a FRESH START? It all starts in your mind – inside you.

As you may know, I work with folks to help you become clear on what you would love for your life – your dream life – and then support you through the hurdles that are in your way as you build that life. In the process we work with all forces, including resistance. 

Tai Chi practitioners and some of the other martial artists work with energy to shift an incoming force to a new direction or trajectory rather than “resist” it. That’s also possible with negative and resistant thoughts. Or, you may want to use resistance to build a stronger or more flexible body. There are productive and positive ways to channel and use resistance as you move towards your destination.

The point is to understand how resistance works in you and your life so you can engage the resistance to work for you, rather than be an obstacle in your way. The more you understand the way resistance is working in your life the more you can use it to move you forward rather than be stopped by it.

You have the power.

Plants are on their green growing edge in the Spring. 


If so, I’m inviting you to join me for my ground-breaking new FREE training!

You get to choose the experience you want to create.

Will you choose to stay stuck at your current level of success… wishing for more freedom that always feels just out of reach?

Or will you choose to learn how easy it can be and explore the new, more expanded and freedom-filled life you could create?

If you’re ready for a new level of success…

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May you have a beautiful month!


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